Boredom
by Midget in Glasses
Summary: Allen and Ed decide to have some fun with strip poker on a boring train ride. Crossover between Fullmetal Alchemist and D. Gray-Man. One-shot.


**Author's Note: **Second one-shot. This isn't really in the FMA world or the D. Gray-Man world...they're sort of merged together. Yeah, I know that doesn't make any sense. You'll see what I mean when you read it. The characters are probably all ooc at some points, especially the exorcists, since I watched about five episodes of DGM and forgot about it.

**Disclaimer: **I own FMA. Yeah, right. And if I owned D. Gray-Man, I'd probably get rid of Kanda just to see the fangirls' reactions.

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The train sped by, whistling and spewing smoke that lingered in the air before fading away into the evening light. Its thunderous engine almost ripped the leaves off of the surrounding trees as it chugged on.

Ed grimaced and shifted positions. He hated trains.

This one wasn't as bad as some of the others he had been on in previous years. After barely enduring one train ride with wooden seats, he had finally whipped out his State Alchemist pocket watch and demanded better seating. Al criticized him for abusing his military powers, but Ed stubbornly believed that there was no point having them if he wasn't ever going to use them.

It was nice having his own train compartment for a change, anyways. First class, too, with seats that weren't made out of dead trees. Even so, the rumble of the train wheels beneath him jarred his bones and numbed his body.

Edward sighed and stretched himself out over the seats. Al had left the compartment a while ago to check up on the stops, and he hadn't come back yet. Without any company, boredom started to fill his senses. Time dragged on. The noise turned monotonous. Once, Ed thought he heard a distant _bang _from the far side of the train, but he dismissed the sound as one of the wheel's rackets. A little later, he thought he heard voices outside. They were probably just part of his stupor…

Ed opened his eyes. There _were _voices. And they were coming closer.

"…can't believe they gave our compartment away to somebody else. We're from the Black Order. Don't they realize our importance?"

"They _did _give it to a high ranking military officer…"

"I don't care."

"Oy, Yuu! Sharing is caring, hasn't anybody told you that?"

Ed stood up straight just as the door slammed open. Three boys, all clad in the same heavy-looking black costumes, entered the compartment and shut the door behind them. One looked around the same age as Ed, with white hair like an Ishvalan, although his skin was pale. The other two seemed to be older, and were opposites in appearances; one was dark and moody, while the other had a head of red hair and a teasing smile on his face.

"_You're_ the high ranking military officer they gave our compartment to?" said the dark one contemptibly to Ed. "You're just a bean sprout."

A mini-explosion detonated.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A HALF-PINT PEANUT-SIZED MIDGET WHO'S SO SMALL THAT ANTS CAN CARRY HIM OFF FOR FOOD?!"

The red-haired one looked surprised.

"Ah, Yuu…I don't think he and Allen work the same way."

His friend looked as if he wanted to forcefully make Ed work the same way, but he said nothing, sat down, and crossed his arms. Ed glared at him.

"Don't mind Kanda," the red head said good-naturedly, "he's just a little upset today. I'm Lavi, by the way. That's Allen," he added, pointing a thumb at the white-haired boy behind him.

"Nice to meet you," said Allen politely.

"I'm Edward Elric," Ed responded shortly, turning away from Kanda, whom he had been regarding with strong dislike. He looked them over with slight interest. "What are you three supposed to be?"

Lavi hesitated, and glanced at Allen. Allen nodded consent, so Lavi answered, "We're exorcists."

Ed vaguely remembered reading about exorcists somewhere, but couldn't think of the finer details except that it wasn't from one of his usual alchemy texts.

Lavi sprawled uninvited on a seat. Allen did the same. Across from them, Kanda hadn't moved an inch, and something about his expression indicated that anybody who interrupted him would suffer an early death.

Silence fell.

Bored again, Ed tried unsuccessfully to go to sleep. He wondered where Al was, and if he should be worried. But Al could take care of himself. He would probably just chastise Ed for worrying too much.

All he could do was wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Time trickled to a pace with all of the speed and agility of drying paint.

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"Hey, Ed!"

Ed gave a loud snore and snapped awake. "Wha?"  
Lavi stood above him, grinning.

"Want to hear about this hot Xingese babe I dated?"

"No," Ed replied grumpily. He hated when his precious hours of sleep were disturbed.

Lavi's smile vanished. "You're no fun at all," he pouted.

Ed looked around drowsily. Kanda appeared to be sleeping, while Allen's eyes were half-closed. It looked as if Lavi had given up on both of them.

The red-haired exorcist sighed. "It's _boring _around here, eh, Allen?"

"Uh," Allen muttered.

Lavi stared at the ceiling thoughtfully with one hand on his chin. "Maybe we could play a game?"

"What kind of game?" said Ed and Allen in the same dull tone.

"…charades?"

"No."

"Truth or dare?"

"Hell no."

"…poker?" Lavi suggested.

Allen frowned, as if recalling a bad memory. "Okay, I guess."

Ed shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

Both boys got up, stretched, and settled themselves on the floor. Allen fished out a deck of cards from one of his coat pockets and shuffled them with lazy expertise. For a second, an eerie smile flashed across Allen's face. Lavi noticed this and visibly shuddered.

Allen swiftly dealt each player five cards and an assortment of chips. Kanda was unanimously ignored.

After each placing one chip in the center, Lavi switched five cards, Ed switched four, and Allen switched three. Several betting rounds later, Allen called the bet, and they all laid out their hands for the others to see.

"Pair of Jacks," said Lavi.

"Flush," said Allen, displaying his five Spades.

"I've got a Flush, too," said Ed, showing his five red Diamonds.

Allen examined the Flushes carefully. He had an Ace, Queen, and a Nine, while Ed had an Ace, Queen, and a—

"Ten," said Ed, grinning widely. "Guess that means I won this round!"

Lavi's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Allen actually losing a round, even if by just one card, was unprecedented. Allen obviously wasn't expecting his sudden loss either; the air around his figure seemed to curdle and die.

"Hey, Ed," said Allen in a dangerously low voice, "how about we raise the stakes a little?"

Ed's golden eyes glinted. "How?"

Allen smiled almost evilly. "_Strip poker."_

Ed gave an ominous smirk in response. "All right, then. I accept."

"One chip for gloves or boots?"

"Five chips for jackets."

"Ten for shirts."

"Twenty for pants."

"And twenty-five for coats."

The space between Allen and Ed fizzed with unseen electrical jolts.

Lavi blanched. "I…think I'll pass."

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From the other end of the train, a distant scream was audible.

Alphonse paused on his way from the livestock carts to the far end of the train where the first class compartment was. He could have sworn that scream was…no, he decided, it couldn't have been. Ed was alone. There was nothing that could have caused him to scream.

Unless Scar had somehow infiltrated the compartment.

But he and Ed had fought Scar before. Ed could deal with Scar on his own, couldn't he?

Then again, Scar had succeeded in subduing Ed before…he had pressed his right hand against Ed's temple and—

Al ran for it, keeping a tight hold on his chest plate.

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"Haha! I—oh, _shit…_"

There was a malicious laugh. "I win!"

"How--?! A royal—straight—you cheated!"

"_You cheated, too, so it's fair!"_

"What! That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Of course it does! _Take it off!"_

Lavi stared at the two boys trying to wrestle each other into submission.

"What kind of childhood did Allen have…?" he mused to himself quietly.

Kanda, who had long since woken up, drew his sword with a sharp rasp of steel. "Should I stop them?"

"No, no, you should just—"

The compartment door suddenly burst open, and Al stood framed in the entrance.

"Niisan! Where's Scar? Are—"

Al stopped and stared at the scene before him.

A barefoot white-haired boy he had never seen before had body slammed his older brother to the floor. Ed was stripped down to his boxers. His clothes and jumbled up chips lay scattered everywhere, and poker cards were fluttering around the pair. The white-haired boy had an evil expression, and was apparently trying to force Ed out of his last remaining garment. Watching the entire thing were two older boys that Al had also never seen in his life.

"_**Strip**!"_

"_Get the hell away from me, you damn--!" _Ed noticed Al and his eyes widened to the size of coins. So did Allen's. Both stopped struggling.

An uncomfortable silence filled the compartment.

Ed stared, horrified, at his brother. Allen's fingers were still clutching the hems of his boxers.

A muffled _meow!_ finally broke the silence. Al started and chuckled awkwardly.

"Erm…d-did I mention I found a kitten on the train, Niisan?"

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Reviews, yes? :D


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